My mother died from tuberculosis  when I was two years old.  I was raised by my grandparents. We were very poor. Our house had no electricity or running water. Christmas was not celebrated with gifts, and we never had a Christmas tree during my childhood.

The first significant gifts I remember came when I was about five or six. Somehow, though I never knew how—my grandparents hid a few presents under a blanket. I received a large dump truck, a silver-colored long-barrel six-shooter with caps that looked real, and a Disney BB gun. As I grew older, presents became clothes. There was still little emphasis on “Christmas” itself. Birthdays were similar. My grandmother might bake a cake, but there were no parties.

I was very studious and read a lot. We went to a small (membership about 30) very conventional Church of Christ in Belcherville, TX.  Here the belief was Christmas was a pagan holiday instituted by the Romans and adopted by the Catholic Church.  So, there were no decorations indicating Christmas in the church building. It was only later that I discovered that Dec 25  ( and Jan. 6) had been postulated by some early Christian writers. The institution of the Roman pagan holiday occurred after the Christianization of the Roman Empire had occurred.  Nevertheless, neither in the Belcherville Church of Christ nor in the Nocona Church of Christ were any vestiges of Christmas in view.

It was only after I was in college that I visited my biological father during Christmas.  His family celebrated Christmas in his home—tree, decorations, gifts, etc.   I did visit him during the summers.

If you are sensing a large gap in my experience of Christmas as any kind of celebration, you are correct.

It was only after  Martha and I were married that Christmas became important to me.  It seemed to me there was joy that could come from the celebration together.  Therefore, Christmas became very significant particularly after we had children.  Having four children, we bought very little toys throughout  the year, but Christmas was a big deal.  Martha was not and is still not great in putting up Christmas decorations.  Decorating the tree was something I enjoyed.  After Jayne, our youngest, was older she was my helper.  There was great joy in seeing our kids come and open their presents. 

Our children had lots of presents at Christmas time.  We used to mislabel gifts to confuse them. There is nothing like seeing joy in children.  After our kids grew up and were married, we instituted the tradition of alternating celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving at our house on alternate years. As the grandkids came along, the joy and anticipation continued.   We always had special meals at Thanksgiving and Christmas.

If you anticipate, I miss all of this.  I certainly do.  Now, our grandkids are mostly grown, except for Kaylee, James’ youngest. James ( our youngest) son  family lives in the D.C. area. Jayne( our youngest daughter) family lives in OK.  Our oldest daughter, Cheryl does live close in Allen, Tx. Distance and working teenagers, and work schedules prevent our whole family from being together as it once was.  Three plus  years ago, we built an additional room that is a combination living/kitchen area and moved in there.  There literally is no place for Christmas decorations even if we had the energy.  I think Steven ( our oldest son) and Melissa will put up a tree and decorations in the older portion of the house where they live.  This year we are sadden as all of our children’s family will not be here at Christmas.

We are past the stage of presents except for our youngest grandchild.  And then, it is just cash. At our age, we need nothing.  So, gone is the joy of seeing all of the family together at once on a regular basis.  Gone is the sparkle in the eyes of young children as they anticipate and open their presents.

As one grows older, kids have families and need their own time.  Illness and finances tend to more and more isolate aged parents from the joys of youth and young marriage.  That is the natural cycle of life in our modern society. Some have grandchildren nearly all the time.  That is a great blessing.  In earlier times, extended families were more easily maintained.  Not so today for many.

As adults Martha and I have had the opportunity to participate in many Christmas parties with friends. You know the type where everyone brings a real but inexpensive gift. Then, you draw numbers to see who gets to choose a gift ( which may be then taken by someone else).  Food, fellowship, and singing carols drew people together.  Participation In providing gifts through church lets one enjoy the “gift of giving” even though you didn’t see the receiver.  At a deeper level it is the  joy in the “gift of giving” and the fellowship and sharing that is most missed about Christmas.

So, do I miss Christmas  as our family once knew it? Yes!   As one ages, it is like so many things one has experienced in life.  You rejoice in the days you might have left with the love of your life.  You recall in the splendid halls of your memories, the sparkle, the anticipation, the laughter, and the joy of  your children and grandchildren.  And you are thankful for the days God has granted  you to live. Your days are short. Don’t waste your time just on work and things.  God, family, and friends are more important